The Hungry Hippo
I went for a hike yesterday up the Manastash. I have been hiking to the top of the ridge for just over ten years now. I was taken up the first time during a period of my life when I was in a mental health crisis. I was full of depression, worry, and anxiety during 2006 and wanted to take my own life. I had friends, Theo and Melissa, who were a massive support during this time. They said, one weekend, let's go "hiking". I didn't really want to, but, I figured what the heck, and I went. Yeah, well, anyone who goes up the ridge, knows it is not just any hike. It is a workout! I was not a happy camper. But, I made it to the top, and, ever since then, it is like my church. Where I go to think about life and get some exercise. I am thankful every time I get to the top for that one fateful day when I was taken up for the very first time.
I had left Fred Meyer and was ready to start on this new journey. I was going to go into prevention work in the drug and alcohol field. That was the plan. Well, that "plan", didn't go so well. Within two weeks of starting the new career it blew up in my face. I am not going to spend any time giving all the details, only to say, I left the place. I quit. I wasn't willing to work for the person who had put on one face to recruit me, only to put on another face when I was working there.
So here I was, having left Fred Meyer, the steady job, steady paycheck, and all that went with it. I had stability and consistency there. I had taken a huge risk and stepped away to follow a dream of sorts. Now, that dream was dead. Stephanie and I were still together and all of this didn't help our already testy relationship.
Now, what did I do? Did I go back to Fred Meyer? No. Did we pack up and move back to the westside? No.
I had developed a strong skill set in working on and around computers by this time. I had been working side jobs for people and businesses helping with computer issues and such. I decided to ramp this up and turn it into a business. Also, I was able to pick up a contract delivering packages in our area for a company called DHL. They were trying to become a FedEx or UPS and I was able to get the contract for Kittitas County. I delivered packages in the mornings and worked on computers the rest of the time.
I was able to use my networking skills to turn myself into being self employed. I wasn't sure where it would go, but, I needed to earn an income, and for now, this was working. Doing these jobs helped to pay the bills and give me some breathing room on what to do next. I had already decided I wanted to stay in the area so this helped me be able to do that.
Having grown up in restaurants I had always had a dream of owning my own restaurant and an opportunity came up to buy a local sub shop in downtown Ellensburg. The Hungry Hippo Sub Shoppe used to be on Pine Street, right next to Sugar Thai. It was a small place, but, the style inside was pretty cool. The concept was interesting, and the price seemed right. I was able to scrape the money together to get the place and, just like that, we had a sub shop! This started a new chapter in our lives. Stephanie was open to the idea for the most part. She had started training horses and was trying to get her name out there with that work, but, she was willing to help at The Hungry Hippo. This all took place in February of 2005.
Spring was coming and it felt good. I started the work of being a full time business owner with a sub shoppe, computer business, and the package delivery. I felt a new energy and had a lot of hope for the future. I was able to get the Hippo's name out there through good marketing and ramping up the delivery option. The current clientele was good and with spring coming traffic downtown was picking up. The drawback was finances and our location. We were on Pine Street. In 2006, there wasn't near as much going on downtown as there is now. Thus, being off Main or Pearl, was not the best. The other issue, finances, that was even tougher. Now, looking back, I bought the Hippo on a shoestring budget. Not the best decision. I was having to borrow to get it going, and to grow....yet, the income wasn't enough to even come close to keeping it in the black. It was tough. But, I was a believer.
This whole process didn't improve our marriage. Stephanie and I had a low key wedding in 2005. All the same problems were still there when we married, but, I think both of us at some level believed things would improve. They really didn't overall. Then, with my career shift, it added stress to the marriage. Also, Tyler was a teenager by this time period and he was not doing well in school or at home. He was having problems in school and had started smoking cigarettes, drinking, and smoking pot. It was like watching myself during my teen years. Our father/son relationship was heavily strained by this time and he refused to come up to our house. I had to many rules for his lifestyle.
My focus turned to the business. 100%. It was working well during that spring and summer, yet, the finances were real tough. In any business, it takes money to make money. If I wanted the Hippo to take off I had to keep sinking money into it. I was doing that, but, the loans were small and I didn't have the ability to keep borrowing for long. By the end of the summer the strain on the financial side was taking it's toll.
Stephanie and I split in that Summer. Our marriage was in complete freefall. She was done with it all by this time. The business had completely consumed me. I felt like I was hanging on my a thread with our marriage and then we split. It rocked my world.
I also need to bring in Kodi. Kodi was a gentle giant. A rottweiler/malamute mix who was a great dog. He was with me all the time. I had him since he was a pup and by this time he was about 6 or 7 years old. He was such a good boy. It was during this summer that he developed a limp and I was taking him to the vet to try to get it figured out. I was worried, but hopeful it would pass.
This is now the summer of 2006. I had just celebrated 10 years in recovery in February of that year. I was still going to meetings, but, had stepped out of the service work side of AA. I had a friends who I talked with frequently about all that was happening in my life. When Steph and I split I found a new counselor who would play a huge role in who I have become today. It would take a lot before that would happen, but Ronnie became my counselor during this time. Right now, in the summer of '06 things were rough. I was financially a mess, Steph and I were split, I was sleeping at The Hippo, Kodi had this medical issue, Tyler was going through a lot himself, and I was spiraling into a massive depression.
Journal entry from July 13th, 2006:
"Life is a struggle right now. There is hope, but I am struggling with my work, with my involvement with woman, with my level of overall satisfaction with my life. I am once again probing into my past and how it is still affecting me today. Mostly in regards to my view on women and how I am in in a relationship. Right now I am feeling like the hippo was a big mistake. Right now the financial burden in is overwhelming. I am not sure how much longer I can do this. I feel like if I lose the Hippo then I will lose everything else. My marriage is over so what next? The hippo? Than what? It is hard to have the hope that keeps me going each day. I like the music that is playing on the tv right now. It feels relaxing to me. I love Kodi. I love Tyler. I somewhat love myself. I have hope that all this will pass with time. That down the road I will see the benefits of what I am going through on a daily basis right now. Good night."
I had left Fred Meyer and was ready to start on this new journey. I was going to go into prevention work in the drug and alcohol field. That was the plan. Well, that "plan", didn't go so well. Within two weeks of starting the new career it blew up in my face. I am not going to spend any time giving all the details, only to say, I left the place. I quit. I wasn't willing to work for the person who had put on one face to recruit me, only to put on another face when I was working there.
So here I was, having left Fred Meyer, the steady job, steady paycheck, and all that went with it. I had stability and consistency there. I had taken a huge risk and stepped away to follow a dream of sorts. Now, that dream was dead. Stephanie and I were still together and all of this didn't help our already testy relationship.
Now, what did I do? Did I go back to Fred Meyer? No. Did we pack up and move back to the westside? No.
I had developed a strong skill set in working on and around computers by this time. I had been working side jobs for people and businesses helping with computer issues and such. I decided to ramp this up and turn it into a business. Also, I was able to pick up a contract delivering packages in our area for a company called DHL. They were trying to become a FedEx or UPS and I was able to get the contract for Kittitas County. I delivered packages in the mornings and worked on computers the rest of the time.
I was able to use my networking skills to turn myself into being self employed. I wasn't sure where it would go, but, I needed to earn an income, and for now, this was working. Doing these jobs helped to pay the bills and give me some breathing room on what to do next. I had already decided I wanted to stay in the area so this helped me be able to do that.
Having grown up in restaurants I had always had a dream of owning my own restaurant and an opportunity came up to buy a local sub shop in downtown Ellensburg. The Hungry Hippo Sub Shoppe used to be on Pine Street, right next to Sugar Thai. It was a small place, but, the style inside was pretty cool. The concept was interesting, and the price seemed right. I was able to scrape the money together to get the place and, just like that, we had a sub shop! This started a new chapter in our lives. Stephanie was open to the idea for the most part. She had started training horses and was trying to get her name out there with that work, but, she was willing to help at The Hungry Hippo. This all took place in February of 2005.
Spring was coming and it felt good. I started the work of being a full time business owner with a sub shoppe, computer business, and the package delivery. I felt a new energy and had a lot of hope for the future. I was able to get the Hippo's name out there through good marketing and ramping up the delivery option. The current clientele was good and with spring coming traffic downtown was picking up. The drawback was finances and our location. We were on Pine Street. In 2006, there wasn't near as much going on downtown as there is now. Thus, being off Main or Pearl, was not the best. The other issue, finances, that was even tougher. Now, looking back, I bought the Hippo on a shoestring budget. Not the best decision. I was having to borrow to get it going, and to grow....yet, the income wasn't enough to even come close to keeping it in the black. It was tough. But, I was a believer.
This whole process didn't improve our marriage. Stephanie and I had a low key wedding in 2005. All the same problems were still there when we married, but, I think both of us at some level believed things would improve. They really didn't overall. Then, with my career shift, it added stress to the marriage. Also, Tyler was a teenager by this time period and he was not doing well in school or at home. He was having problems in school and had started smoking cigarettes, drinking, and smoking pot. It was like watching myself during my teen years. Our father/son relationship was heavily strained by this time and he refused to come up to our house. I had to many rules for his lifestyle.
My focus turned to the business. 100%. It was working well during that spring and summer, yet, the finances were real tough. In any business, it takes money to make money. If I wanted the Hippo to take off I had to keep sinking money into it. I was doing that, but, the loans were small and I didn't have the ability to keep borrowing for long. By the end of the summer the strain on the financial side was taking it's toll.
Stephanie and I split in that Summer. Our marriage was in complete freefall. She was done with it all by this time. The business had completely consumed me. I felt like I was hanging on my a thread with our marriage and then we split. It rocked my world.
I also need to bring in Kodi. Kodi was a gentle giant. A rottweiler/malamute mix who was a great dog. He was with me all the time. I had him since he was a pup and by this time he was about 6 or 7 years old. He was such a good boy. It was during this summer that he developed a limp and I was taking him to the vet to try to get it figured out. I was worried, but hopeful it would pass.
This is now the summer of 2006. I had just celebrated 10 years in recovery in February of that year. I was still going to meetings, but, had stepped out of the service work side of AA. I had a friends who I talked with frequently about all that was happening in my life. When Steph and I split I found a new counselor who would play a huge role in who I have become today. It would take a lot before that would happen, but Ronnie became my counselor during this time. Right now, in the summer of '06 things were rough. I was financially a mess, Steph and I were split, I was sleeping at The Hippo, Kodi had this medical issue, Tyler was going through a lot himself, and I was spiraling into a massive depression.
Journal entry from July 13th, 2006:
"Life is a struggle right now. There is hope, but I am struggling with my work, with my involvement with woman, with my level of overall satisfaction with my life. I am once again probing into my past and how it is still affecting me today. Mostly in regards to my view on women and how I am in in a relationship. Right now I am feeling like the hippo was a big mistake. Right now the financial burden in is overwhelming. I am not sure how much longer I can do this. I feel like if I lose the Hippo then I will lose everything else. My marriage is over so what next? The hippo? Than what? It is hard to have the hope that keeps me going each day. I like the music that is playing on the tv right now. It feels relaxing to me. I love Kodi. I love Tyler. I somewhat love myself. I have hope that all this will pass with time. That down the road I will see the benefits of what I am going through on a daily basis right now. Good night."
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