14yrs in recovery today

I celebrate 14yrs today as a person in recovery from a substance use disorder.  For the last 14 years, because of access to so many levels of support along the way, I haven't used any drugs or alcohol. For that one fact alone, I am so grateful.  As you have been reading about my life, well, you know now drugs and alcohol were a significant part of it for a long time. I remember well saying for many years "yeah, I probably shouldn't do "those drugs", but, I will always have my alcohol and pot".  I am so glad I was able to learn that having that mindset was only holding me back. I am fortunate to have the full and amazing life I lead today.

Today I am going to share a few things that I believe are important for all concerned to know about this thing called "recovery" and how someone might navigate their own path to where I am today. I will get back to my story tomorrow. 

First, all paths to recovery work. What do I mean by that?  Well, it's a fact that there are multiple ways for a person to get to, and, stay in recovery from a substance use disorder.  It is a massive myth that there is only one way, and, if you don't adhere to that one way you are doomed for failure....myth.  It is a fact that many people, who once used heavy drugs and drank at levels where they would easily diagnosed as having a substance use disorder, they just quit....It's a fact.  It's also a fact that some people who used high levels of drugs and alcohol, have some type of crisis causes them to use something other than treatment to find their path to recovery.  Some may use their church and find god and that works for them. Some, after waking up one morning and having a desire to change, make a change from unhealthy living to health living through the use of exercise or a healthy hobby that helps them create new habits.  They with this is......there is more than one way to get to, and, stay in recovery.  Period.  If you hear anyone say otherwise, they are only giving you their narrow view.  What works for me is great, but, the second I say my way MUST work for all else; I am wrong.  Period. 

The idea that someone has to hit rock bottom before they will change is a myth....period.  I know many people in my world who never broke a law, who never lost a job, or their family; who, also used heavy drugs and drank at very high levels.  They were able to see the need for change before hitting the myth of needing to hit rock bottom before they would change.  People die because of this myth.  Does my story look like it got pretty ugly for me before I found life in recovery, sure, but, it doesn't meant that is true for everyone.  It's just not.  In fact, the data shows clearly that the vast majority of people in recovery have never hit rock bottom.  It's a myth that this has to happen and it must die.  

Language matters and we must shift the words we use in this arena.  You may have noticed if you know me and follow my work, I don't use certain language.  Why?  Because it's stigmatizing and only pushes people away from help rather than pulling them toward help.  What language am I am talking about?  Well, think in your mind what images come to mind when you here these words:  Addict, druggie, Loser, alcoholic, junkie, even the terms clean and dirty.  These words don't elicit positive images.  And, here is the interesting part of this.....this is the ONLY health condition that is talked about in this way.   The only one. If you don't think language matters ask yourself what you do if someone pronounces your child's name wrong....you will correct them, as you should.  Names matters, language.  I work to educate people to use person centered language in the arena of substance use disorders.  In the public realm I introduce myself as David first.  That's who I am.  If I am going to introduce my life in recovery I say "My name is David and I am a person in recovery".  Due to the media, and even the government through the years long failed drug way, this health condition has been stigmatized, moralized, and judged more than any other health condition and it has to stop.  The idea that we can shame and guilt people into recovery is crazy and this area only perpetuates that nonsense.

Imagine a world where someone who needs help, can actually get it.  And yes, even if it means they need help multiple times. I am just like many when it comes to this.  If you see the success I have in my life know that I have been treatment multiple times, to counselors hundreds of times, and I have returned to use along the way.  Because of continued to access to resources, and seriously, only because of continued access, do I sit here doing all the good things I get to do in my life. Access to medical/dental care, access to mental health counseling, access to housing, access to jobs, and more......When we keep doors open for someone who needs help, rather than giving it once, or yes, even multiple times, and say "well, they must not want it", we can truly see more of me in the world. 

Our treatment system is broken. Now, I have family and friends who do amazing work in this field, and, I am a former counselor.  So, let me say this, there is some change happening that is good. But, in many ways the treatment system is broken. What do I mean?  Well, one, the idea that someone who needs treatment, has to fight with insurance (private and public) to get the length of treatment that might be needed really angers me. I know the field in this regard.  Providers have to fight to get the needed time for a person who desperately needs it.  The other, and in some ways, even more serious area of concern, goes back to my opening where I talk about the fact, that there is more than one way to get to, and, stay in recovery.   Many treatment centers, in the year 2021, are still running on a 1950's model of treatment.  What is this?  It's the Minnesota Model of Treatment that surrounds educating people on the twelve steps of AA and giving some counseling in individual and group settings.  Now. this might work for some, but, it certainly doesn't work for all.  Yet, it is STILL, the primary method of treatment in the vast majority of treatment centers.  There needs to be room for someone to learn other ways to maintain a life in recovery, and, there are many.  There are many support groups and paths to maintain life in recovery and treatment centers would help more people if they would open the door to giving this information.   Programs like SMART Recovery, Secular Organizations for Sobriety (SOS),  or Celebrate Recovery are all viable ways for someone to maintain a life in recovery.  Or, like I do and I know many others do, using an individual plan for yourself that works well. I have a close friend who uses her exercise regimen and strong network of friends/family and she lives an amazing life.  I know of organizations like Recovery Beyond that uses training programs to help people improve their physical and mental health through climbing mountains.  Personally, I use a mix of exercise, mediation, reading, and I have a strong support network that helps me immensely.  The key with all of this and what I believe needs to happen is actually using individualized treatment; Not just saying you do, but, actually doing it.  

Last area I will write about that is critically important is mental health. Now, there IS some good happening in this area. For years, the fields of substance use disorder and mental health disorder treatment were completely separate, and, they did not get along. Each of the professions look down on each other. I know, crazy right?  Just as I type that I think of the lives lost because of this.  There has been a coming together of each profession that IS good. We know, that many people who get a diagnosis of having a substance use disorder, also, likely have a diagnosis for a mental health disorder.  For me, I learned when I first entered a live in recovery in the mid 90's that I had been suffering from a depression, anxiety, bereavement, and PTSD.......I had no idea until that time.  One can NOT be treated without the other being treated.  Yes, one might need to get sobered up before this can happen, no argument there.  But, all of the concerns in both areas must be treated near simultaneously.  I am encouraged by what I am seeing happen in these areas, to bring both professions closer together, working side-by-side, to save more lives. It's critical and must continue.

I will close this with some of my favorite sayings and what they mean to me:

Recovery works, Lives Change..........it's a fact.  We have over 25 million plus people in the US alone who have found a path to recovery.  In their way they have went from lives of despair to lives of hope and promise.  I want more people, who found their path to recovery to speak loudly about it.  The more we show the world that recovery works, the more we can dispel the myth that it doesn't.  

The opposite of addiction is connection (Johann Hari)......this is so true on so many levels.  We have clear data now that shows that the people that suffer the most from substance use disorders, also suffered the most throughout their childhood.  The bottom 20% of people with substance use disorders, who have the most issues, also, have the highest levels of childhood trauma of all kinds. Now, if we can find a way, to help them find connection through the multiple levels of resources I described earlier, we would find that they would, maybe for the first time in their lives, feel connection in a way they have been craving their entire lives. I was in that category, It wasn't, for me, until I was in my mid 20's, that I started really understanding my own level of pain I had been holding for my entire life. It wasn't until I was able to access all the resources needed to heal from it that I, for the first time in my life, started to feel that connection. Once that happened, my life changed forever.  The opposite of addiction IS connection.

We are worth the effort.........In the community I live in, a smaller rural community, I know so many people in recovery....so many.  And, guess what, they are integral parts of the community.  I have friends who come from all walks of life, across all demographics, in varying professions and jobs.  They are taxpaying citizens who give back to our community in big ways.  People in recovery have families and raise their kids in way that they break the cycles of addiction.  People in recovery are your neighbors, co-workers, your bosses, your elected officials. We are worth the effort to help us go from a life of despair to being integral members of our community.

Love to all.