My dog Cheba

This morning I am taking a break from writing my life's journey to write about my dog Cheba. This morning I have woke early and have been laying with her on what will be her last day alive.  She is 13.5 and she is tired...Her hips are shot. I can see it and feel it; she is tired.  We are letting her go later this morning. For those that know me you know I am a realist and a dreamer. An odd mix in some ways but I have found my way of thinking to work for me in my world.  I can't say where Cheba's spirit will go after today, but, if she ends up in a place where she can be young again and run free, I am all for it. She deserves to feel the freedom of her long past youth and not be in anymore pain or have restrictions of movement because of a failing body. 

This day, the one where I will part ways with a dog that has been with me for the last 12 years, well, I have been preparing myself for it mentally for over a year. It's been in the last six month that she has slowed physically in big ways.  Gone for a long time now have been the long walks and runs she required multiple times a day.  Gone for a while now has been her need to have her mind stimulated through daily training sessions with her ball and her routines through all of the tricks and routines she has known.  Gone for some time, has been her pacing and whining if I didn't give her what she needed on a daily basis; lot's of activity.  Her love for swimming after her water toy until I tired of throwing it and have to tell her enough, those days have been gone for some time now. All of those days, for my dog Cheba, have been long distant memories that will always be in mind.  

I never would have thought I would enjoy what has taken place since those long past days as I have over the last year plus amount of time as she has aged and her physical ability to move like before has changed.  I can't count how many times I have slept right next to my dog with my arms wrapped around her during our naps. This has really been in just the last six months. She, being well, who she is, has never been much of a dog to cuddle, but, in the last six months that changed.  Her and I have had our places on the couch over the last three or so months since her need for more and more rest has increased.  Her, on the chaise lounge portion of the couch, now dubbed Cheba's spot, and me laid out on the rest of the couch.  Daisy, of course, right next to her sister. Once I laid down on the couch,  Daisy would move next to me, and I would rest my feet next to Cheba.  All three of us sacked out for the evening until bed time. In the last two months our walks changed dramatically.  In the last two months the walks went from 3/4 of a mile to, well, less than a block.  Thus, our car rides increased with Cheba loving having her nose out the window sometimes in a sitting position and sometimes her head up from a laying position. These drives have been special.  While we have had to adapt our morning routine, the changes will always rest in my mind as being special.

I have carried my dog more in the last two months than ever in her life.  And, I and anyone else who knows her, will tell you Cheba is not one to give up control.  She has been the most dominant dog I have ever owned.  She's a female, and I will never forget seeing her hike her rear as high as she could on a tree, just to pee higher than any other dog that had been there before.  But, with her hips failing, this has changed. I will remember most lifting her out of the car over the last couple months.  She learned it was best to wait for me to grab her when I opened the door. At first, this was not the case and she would try to jump out and just collapse.  After a couple of these she has learned to wait while I scooped her in my arms and set her on the ground. It's interesting how she has placed her trust in me during the last couple months while carrying her.  Now, she doesn't like it, she is a prideful dog, but, she has relaxed when I have needed to carry her.  She has given me trust on a whole different level than ever before. Another new thing for Cheba in the last couple months we have lovingly called "dropping turds" in the house.  She, a dog who would never go potty in the house, hasn't been able to hold it and it just happens.  Us, always loving her and telling her "it's ok Cheba, it's ok".  Seeing her eyes and knowing she is embarrassed by this.  While it might sound gross, being able to just love her when this has happened has been special.  In the middle of the night, we have learned to jump out of bed when she tries to scurry out of hers after a turd comes out, we have just cleaned it up and tucked her back in bed. Hearing her take the long deep breath and saying "It's ok Cheba, it's ok".  Those have been special moments for Katrina and I with our big dog Cheba. 

I will miss the following things the most about Cheba.  The sound of her paws walking across the floor. Knowing she is not going to be right next to our entry door each time I come home, in the last couple months, literally right against the side door.  The morning routine her and I have had for years. Thinking back several years, I will miss working with her and seeing how amazingly smart a dog she is.  Her natural ability to go into full on sentry mode when kids are around the house.  Her love for the water, even if her barking because nobody is spraying her with the hose or squirt gun has always been super annoying.  The relationship her and Daisy have had for over 8yrs. Daisy is going to miss her sister, we will have each other to support through grieving the loss of Cheba. And I think most, just knowing she is by me.  Just like now, as I have been awake since four, she has been right by my side, as she has been, for 12yrs. I will miss her presence the most. 

Cheba has been an integral part of the Douglas family for 12 of her 13.5 years of her life. I recently heard a message that talked about "it's just a dog". It's a great talk about dogs not being "just a dog". This is so true as Cheba has never been "just a dog"....Never.  Cheba has been by my side for so much and has never wavered in being a consistent presence in all we have done. The love Katrina has shown for Cheba has been amazing. She, who came into my life when I had already had Cheba, has always loved Cheba in a way only Katrina can do so well. The bond between Cheba and Cassie has been special for the two of them.  Cheba had a greeting that was reserved for when Cassie arrived at the house. Cassie buying Cheba her squeaky pig years ago now thinking it would annoy me, well, it has always been Cheba favorite toy in the world and Cassie has always made sure she had a squeaky pig in her collection of toys. My son Tyler, how he would always get down with Cheba and cuddle with her, interestingly enough, just like I do.  The boys, Anthony and Alarik, well, they have always had Cheba around them; always. Cheba and Harper, two old dogs who have known each other for many years.  Harper, who decided in just the last two years that he would be friends with Cheba after an incident years ago where Cheba almost ripped Harper's head off for going near her food. Harper, in their senior years, let bygones be bygones and they have walked side by side on walks. Two old dogs just enjoying the day. 

My dog Cheba will be missed by many I know. I will cherish the last 12 yrs of memories we made together......always.