The move to Ellensburg

I've noticed I am getting bored writing my story......I guess that is normal, or, I am not normal, or who really cares......it's just a thought I have had the last few days. I know the end of the month is coming soon and my month long writing will come to a close. Thus, I will write on until that day.

With that said, because both, I am little bored, and, the end of the month is near I am going to skip to 2001 when we move to Ellensburg. Prior to April of '01 Stephanie and I got serious, moved in together, moved from the place I had in Tacoma to a townhouse in downtown Puyallup, and than into a big house right in front of where the townhouses sat. 

We both worked at Fred Meyer, that is where we met. She was working in the shoe department when I started in LP at the Lakewood store in '98.  We started talking and getting to know each other over a few month period before we started dating. She was a very quiet and reserved person and I enjoyed getting to know her. Our first date, and don't judge me, we loved it, was having lunch at a Subway.  Huh, I didn't even realize that is actually pretty meaningful to me being that was my first job in recovery.   We met for lunch and that is when we started dating. 

I will never forget the day we sat in my place and we both, as we were getting to know each other, opened up to each other about our pasts.  Me, opening up to her about my childhood, my use of drugs and alcohol, and the sexual abuse. She, I know taking a big risk herself doing so, revealing the trauma she suffered as a child, and, the hell she went through with the father of her son Nick. That day has always been a massively positive moment in time for us. 

There were struggles right out of the gate though. I was dating a bit, and, not being sure if her were committed, was also talking to another girl. To make it messy the other girl was married. My behavior in relationships, while I was making positive changes, was still in need of work. Stephanie and I decided to get serious and I discontinued talking to, and seeing, the married girl.  I know that hurt Stephanie and I early on. Yet, we stayed together and moved on. 

In 2000, and I will never forget the call, I was at work and Cyndi called me.  She called to tell me she was moving. To this point I was highly involved in my son's life. I was seeing him at least every other weekend, if not more. I had been active in going to his school and was being the father I always wanted to be. Tyler was 10 at this time.  She said she was moving to Yakima.  Now, to paint this picture, I had never had any thoughts of moving out of the Tacoma area....none.  I was working a good job, Stephanie and I were together, and for the most part, life was good.  There was some stuff for sure, but for the most part, life was rolling along.  

I had started the LP management program and wanted to apply for a Loss Prevention Manager job when one opened up. In fact, it is right in this time period where I was promoted.  My first store as a Loss Prevention Manager was the Fred Meyer on Pacific Hwy in Kent. At any rate, Cyndi calling to tell me she was moving to Yakima, it crushed me.  I could not believe my son would be hours away from me. Sure, you might read this and think it isn't that far, but, for me at the time, it seemed like he would be a world away. They moved, and almost immediately I began to adjust and started making the drive to Yakima as much as I could to see him. It was much different though being he wasn't in the same area.  I didn't like how far away he was. I wasn't able to be as involved as I was when he was in the area.   It sucked......it just did.

As fate would have it, my boss, Kevin Ruoff, called me one day not to long after Cyndi had moved to Yakima with Tyler.  That call was a significant moment in time. He asked me....."your son moved to Yakima right?".....My response was pretty sarcastic...."yeah Kevin, you know that already, why are you asking?".......and he said....."well, we are opening a store in Ellensburg"........to which I said...."where is Ellensburg".

As a kid we would come over the mountains once in a blue moon to visit our Grandpa Emmerson when he lived in Naches.  Not to often that I remember, but, it did happen. Other than that, I never came to this side of the mountains. I just didn't. I had been two a concert or two at the Gorge and if I stopped in Ellensburg I don't ever remember actually coming into town. I had no real idea where Ellensburg was or what was here. 

Kevin said this would be a great opportunity for me for to have the experience of opening a brand new store and could help me in my career with Freddie's.  I told him I would talk to Stephanie and would think about it. He said I should take a drive over and check it out.  He also said it was less than an hour from my son. Kevin was, and is, a smart man.  He knew he had me and was just allowing me the space to make my own decision about the move.

We made that first trip over, and if memory serves me right it was about six months before the actual move over......the foundation for the store was poured but that was it.  I thought to my self, a life long city boy, as we were driving through town, I don't know if I can do this.....Stephanie on the other hand, who as a girl had grown up with horses, she was almost immediately in for the move. I had to make a decision and ultimately decided to make the move. Thus, we started the process of looking for a place and beginning the transition process.  We moved over in April of 2001, two months before the store opened.  A lot had to happen in those two months to get the store ready for opening.  A lot had to happen to uproot ourselves from Puyallup to Ellensburg.  We had a lot of stuff in that big blue house we were living in in Puyallup that had to be moved...to much.  We had our dog Kodi, reptiles, and way to much crap. But, we loaded it all up in a massive U-Haul, and headed over the hill.  

Our very first place in Ellensburg was a small one bedroom duplex on the corner of 14th and Water. It was the only place we could find that fit two requirements we had.  Something we could afford, and, that would allow my dog.  Kodi was a big dog, a Malamute/Rottweiler mix.  I called him a gentle giant.  But, to any landlord it was a risk.  I am still friends with Dave Camarata to this day. He was pretty hesitant to let us rent, and we had to pay a large pet deposit, but, he was willing.  I remember when we moved out, he gave us all of the $500 non-refundable pet deposit back he required when we moved in.  He said he had never done that before, but, because we took such good care of the property he did. 

Fred Meyer, being the first big box store of it's size to hit Ellensburg had pretty much two sides....either people were super excited to see it come, or, they hated the mere name being mentioned. We, the initial management team, had the job of managing these two sides in the best way we could.  We had no problem filling the over 200 initial positions needed to open the store.  To this day, nearly 20 years later, there are still people from that initial 200 who work there.  Not many, but there are still a few. 

Stephanie and I nearly didn't move over together.  Our relationship, like many in my past, had hit rocky ground along the way.  Somehow we managed to keep it together and moved over as a couple. She and I were both in counseling as individuals, and had started going to some counseling as a couple to try to figure it all out.  Some of it worked, some didn't, and some things were just to much for either of us to face head on. We both had troubled pasts, but, were also both trying to work on ourselves. 

It was nice to be closer to Tyler. He was almost 11 by this time and needed his dad in his life as much as possible.  Cyndi had moved over with her parents and they were all living in a big house in Yakima.  Her dad was pretty much retired by this point and I am pretty sure her mom was by now also.  Cyndi was working full time with Wal Mart or Shopko in this time period.  They were all navigating their own lives and raising Tyler. Cyndi is an only child, and Tyler is their only grandson, thus, he was the focus of their attention.  

I would make the decision to leave Fred Meyer in about '04-05.......to go into the field of substance use disorder prevention work. This was a massive decision.  To leave a long time job with a steady paycheck, benefits, and just a knowing that I had a good job.  Yet, I was bored in my role at Fred Meyer by this point and didn't want to leave Ellensburg; Eburg grows on you.  Other positions in LP would mean a move further away from Tyler and I didn't want to do that.  I had been recruited for a prevention role with a community agency and it seemed like it was all lining up as it was supposed to in that space and time. I hadn't been out of my job at Fred Meyer for long at all and in that role and found myself without a job all together.  My new boss and I who I thought were going get along great, well, we didn't....and I was out of job. I was left standing with nothing. 

Tomorrow I will write about my transition into starting my own gigs delivering packages for DHL, starting a computer repair/consulting business, and buying the Hungry Hippo Sub Shoppe.  I will also write about Stephanie and I marrying, and than, divorcing.  I will talk about having to put my dog Kodi down at seven years old in the summer of '06. I will described the financial stress I had buying a sub shop on barely enough money to keep it open. I will write about my decision to return to drugs and alcohol in '06 after being in recovery for over ten years to that point. 

The picture is of my dog Kodi, Tyler, and I in about 2005