I always said "never me...never"

I was navigating my new world single, it's 1990-91 and I was living at my sisters and working at Loomis. I was 23-24, and, I think I at this point, seeing some need to change my behavior in relationships.  Also, it should be noted, I had, to this point, been told by some that maybe I should look at my levels of drinking.  Being at my age, and, while having some issues that caused me negative results, my desire to change wasn't strong. 

I had bought a vehicle from my sister and brother-in-law.  A 1979 Chevy Luv pickup.  I loved that truck!  One fateful day, I went into Schuck's Auto Supply on 38th Street by the Tacoma Mall to get some air fresheners. I met a girl. We had an instant connection from the second we met.  Stephanie and I began dating not long after that. 

Our relationship came at time when I needed it most.  She was someone who I was willing to start peeling back some of my life stuff with in a healthy way.  We both had some life stuff and our relationship was where I began to start looking at my own life in a different way.  Stephanie is part of the Selden's family in Tacoma.  If you know Selden's Furniture, originally in University Place, and now off of I-5 in Fife you know they have been one of the premier places in the area. 

Stephanie was living with her grandparents in a beautiful home that over looked the puget sound and had a view of the Narrow's.  This was all foreign to me. While Stephanie, and really, most of her family, were pretty grounded and great people, that level of wealth was foreign to me. It is not where I came from at all.  Stephanie was not attached to the family business.  She worked her own jobs and was going to school to be in her own career path.  Very much independent in that regard.

We moved in together and rented a house from her cousin off of 12th Street near Tacoma Community College. I have many amazing memories from this time period. She and I showed each other a lot of love that both of us needed and wanted from a partner.  I was still drinking and smoking pot and remember times where it was to much, so that was still there.   It's hard to encapsulate our entire time together in a short writing, just as it was with my time with Cyndi. I can say Stephanie and I had some very memorable times that I still think about.  We had a strong bond, we shared some great trips together, and she is someone who loved me in a way that I needed at the time, and, I did the same for her. 

With that, we also had issues. Some due to my trust issues and some due to hers. We both made mistakes that caused issues to start to crop up. We ended up moving from the house to an apartment not to far away and were navigating our relationship in the best way we knew how at the time. 

This was also a time when I first stepped on a college campus as a student.  Stephanie encouraged me to think about this because of my desire to maybe move beyond my job at Loomis at some point.  I, for the first time in my life I thought, "huh, maybe I could earn a degree?" I took at class at Pierce College for Business Management. 

To wrap this one up to summarize the environment at the time. If memory serves me right Stephanie was in school and working.  She may have started working at Brewery City Pizza by this point and I was still at Loomis. I was seeing my Tyler regularly and me and Cyndi had began co-parenting him.  Cyndi and I started mending our relationship in a way so Tyler could have both his parents in his life. Her and Stephanie got along well and Stephanie was always really good with Tyler. 

I, in not a good move at all, at some point along the way, thought it would be good to hang out with Laura and Ron. Yeah, the Laura who I had cheated on Cyndi with, and, the Ron who cheated with her when her and I were together; that is them. Stephanie never wanted any part of this. Really, it was for the drugs for me. I would go over there drink, smoke pot, and do lines of speed.  We almost broke up many times over this behavior.  Writing this and thinking about it, this really plays into my behavior for the time.....self-sabotaging.....much like my mother.

But, we were trying to navigate life at the time.  And again, it was not all bad.  Just like Cyndi and I had great memories, so did Stephanie and I. I went to Disney Land for the first time with Stephanie after my first time in treatment. We drove the coast from Tacoma to Southern California. I proposed to her on that trip and and we became engaged.  No date set, but a commitment that I know was based on a true desire to be married and live our life together. We went on a hot air balloon ride adventure that was an amazing adventure. It certainly wasn't all bad, but, the bad is what caused the break-up in the end. 

It wasn't long after this period where I met crack cocaine for the first time.  I was the guy that said "never me, no way". I would drink my beer and smoke my pot, but I would never do that!  Well, I did do that and it didn't go well at all. 

No picture today because I simply don't have any of this time period really.  I had amassed things, but, lost all of them in a storage unit I couldn't pay for and it all was lost.