Sitting on a porch on 6th and Sprague in Tacoma
I use my history to keep propelling me forward. I believe our stories can be powerful in that way. I remember my late 20's sitting on the porch of a friends apartment just off 6th and Sprague in Tacoma. I would sit there on a workday morning, sometimes hungover from the night before, and watch cars passing by on their way to work. I would think how dumb it was to have to do that day in and day out. Over and over, just going to work, coming home, and doing it all again day after day. Mind you, I had no job, I had no purpose in life, I had no drive. Thus, my mindset toward all those who were doing the deal was to put them down. It helped me feel better about my shitty situation in that moment, but really, I was envious.
I use that story to tell you to shift. If you are in a place in your life where you look at other peoples success and think like I once did you can change. You can take the reins of your life and achieve the same success, or, even more.
I was what I term "system involved". I had to report to a probation officer, had debt to multiple court systems, was obligated to prove my sobriety by providing urine samples on a random basis, and in those early days of recovery, felt like the story of my life was being controlled by others. I will never forget hearing something that shifted my mindset dramatically. I wish I could remember the exact person who said it, but, I don't. I am sure I was bitching about being system involved. I felt controlled and told to do this and that, like I didn't have my freedom even now that I was in recovery. Someone said something real simple, but amazingly powerful. They said do whatever you have to do to get out of those systems.....and.....stay out! I was floored by this at the time, it clicked with me.
While getting out of the system, with the many layers that I was system involved, seemed insurmountable, that simple statement propelled me to do exactly that. I paid every dime owed, proved my sobriety to whoever asked, sought help in the areas I needed help, and got out of the system. It was empowering when I hit markers along the way. When my probation officer said I could go from having to see him three times a week, to one time a week, to once a month, and then, never again. When I paid off the thousands owed to the court systems and the department of licensing. I will never forget getting a letter from state saying I had satisfied my obligation to my son for child support. All of these markers kept me propelling forward.
As I was able to access support systems to improve my physical and mental health I gained an even stronger sense of control over the story of my life. Getting counseling to heal the trauma from my past, seeing a dentist to fix the damage from years of no care and poor dental hygiene, seeing a physician regularly to ensure my physical health was good.
I shifted from others writing the story of my life to me being the one in the drivers seat. I have been able to do this by getting up everyday and starting anew. You can do the same. You can get out of the audience, go on stage and grab the mic, and begin telling your own life story. You can make the decision to shift the course of your life today. None of what I have experienced is due to me being anything special. I am on average person in the world. I come from a very low income family system with crazy family scenarios. My 20's are riddle with chaos and scenarios I wish upon no one. What has happened is I have simply learned that if I put in effort, learn patience, and most of all, KEEP MOVING FORWARD, I can achieve amazing things on this earth. You can too, I know you can.
I use that story to tell you to shift. If you are in a place in your life where you look at other peoples success and think like I once did you can change. You can take the reins of your life and achieve the same success, or, even more.
I was what I term "system involved". I had to report to a probation officer, had debt to multiple court systems, was obligated to prove my sobriety by providing urine samples on a random basis, and in those early days of recovery, felt like the story of my life was being controlled by others. I will never forget hearing something that shifted my mindset dramatically. I wish I could remember the exact person who said it, but, I don't. I am sure I was bitching about being system involved. I felt controlled and told to do this and that, like I didn't have my freedom even now that I was in recovery. Someone said something real simple, but amazingly powerful. They said do whatever you have to do to get out of those systems.....and.....stay out! I was floored by this at the time, it clicked with me.
While getting out of the system, with the many layers that I was system involved, seemed insurmountable, that simple statement propelled me to do exactly that. I paid every dime owed, proved my sobriety to whoever asked, sought help in the areas I needed help, and got out of the system. It was empowering when I hit markers along the way. When my probation officer said I could go from having to see him three times a week, to one time a week, to once a month, and then, never again. When I paid off the thousands owed to the court systems and the department of licensing. I will never forget getting a letter from state saying I had satisfied my obligation to my son for child support. All of these markers kept me propelling forward.
As I was able to access support systems to improve my physical and mental health I gained an even stronger sense of control over the story of my life. Getting counseling to heal the trauma from my past, seeing a dentist to fix the damage from years of no care and poor dental hygiene, seeing a physician regularly to ensure my physical health was good.
I shifted from others writing the story of my life to me being the one in the drivers seat. I have been able to do this by getting up everyday and starting anew. You can do the same. You can get out of the audience, go on stage and grab the mic, and begin telling your own life story. You can make the decision to shift the course of your life today. None of what I have experienced is due to me being anything special. I am on average person in the world. I come from a very low income family system with crazy family scenarios. My 20's are riddle with chaos and scenarios I wish upon no one. What has happened is I have simply learned that if I put in effort, learn patience, and most of all, KEEP MOVING FORWARD, I can achieve amazing things on this earth. You can too, I know you can.
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