Dr. Douglas has 13 years in recovery
I remember it well. I remember laying in my tiny duplex thinking that I was doomed. It was the winter of '06-'07 and I had the knowing. I knew that I couldn't keep doing what I was doing. I remember just wanting to take that one hit that would kill me. I couldn't put down the crack pipe. Every part of me wanted to, knew I needed to, but, in that space and time, I couldn't.
My thinking was to do one of a couple of things. Try to smoke as much as I could so I would die, or, just go get a room in a motel on 1st ave in Yakima and live there. That was my thinking to address the issue. Now, I did know another way, and that thinking would come and go frequently.
Prior to the fall of '06 I had been in recovery for over a decade. I knew the feel and taste of a life in recovery. I had experienced going from the streets and jail cells to living a good life free of all the trappings of active addiction. I had the experience of regaining trust back from family and friends. I had the knowledge of how to get from ground zero to higher places. These thoughts were in my mind along with the others.
So, which did I choose? On March 25th, 2007 I chose the road to recovery. The road to that date was riddled with multiple attempts at stopping. All of them helpful in their own way. My story is one that required me to keep trying, to not give up, to not choose certain death, but, to choose to keep navigating the road to this very day. Today I celebrate 13 yrs in recovery from a substance use disorder.
This years anniversary is a different one for sure. All of us are experiencing change no one ever planned for in our lifetimes. On this day we are asked, no, required, to stay put. Stay home unless we need to go somewhere. Crazy isn't it? Thus, this recovery anniversary is somewhat somber. Alas, I still celebrate this day like I would any other year. I know I am not alone in knowing that while this time period is hard, for me and many others in recovery, this pales in comparison to times past.
I have been in jail, on house arrest, on probation, and been required in other ways to restrict my movement. This is nothing. Really, I am pretty free in comparison. I am grateful for my past experiences when I look at it this way. I am grateful for the life I have on this very day; even with all that is happening around me.
Recovery works, lives change. I am living proof. Yesterday I received an email telling me I am done! I am Dr. David A. Douglas! I have went from being a high school drop out holding only a GED to earning of Doctoral degree. How does that happen with the story I have? I will tell you.
It happened because I had access to resources. Resources in the form of treatment, counseling, doctors and dentists. I had access to jobs and housing. Access to education and support for ongoing recovery needs. These things are the only way I would be where I am today. Our society has improved some in this area, but, we have much work to do.
I think about right now, what we are all going through, and other people in recovery. You know what the opposite of addiction is? Connection! People in recovery thrive on connection with others. Support groups across the world are shut down; gatherings are denied everywhere. Exercise programs for people in recovery put off for now with runs and mtn. climbs postponed or cancelled. I know this is hard. But here is what I also know.
We are a resilient population. I am not one to live in my past. I am a forward thinking person. But, when it can be helpful, I look to my past. I think about the current situation and think.....I have been through tough times in the past.....Really tough times. The kind of tough times I wish upon no other human. Thus, these times, while tough, I can get through. I can get through them with my head held high. And, I can help others get through them with me. I can reach out to people through all of the avenues technology gives us. In our house I have jokingly said "we all have to adapt around here".
In recovery I have learned to adapt. I have learned in life that there is only one constant......change. The recovery community knows this well and I am confident all of us will come out of this time period stronger than ever. I am grateful to be in recovery, and, on this day, to celebrate 13 years worth of a life well lived.
My thinking was to do one of a couple of things. Try to smoke as much as I could so I would die, or, just go get a room in a motel on 1st ave in Yakima and live there. That was my thinking to address the issue. Now, I did know another way, and that thinking would come and go frequently.
Prior to the fall of '06 I had been in recovery for over a decade. I knew the feel and taste of a life in recovery. I had experienced going from the streets and jail cells to living a good life free of all the trappings of active addiction. I had the experience of regaining trust back from family and friends. I had the knowledge of how to get from ground zero to higher places. These thoughts were in my mind along with the others.
So, which did I choose? On March 25th, 2007 I chose the road to recovery. The road to that date was riddled with multiple attempts at stopping. All of them helpful in their own way. My story is one that required me to keep trying, to not give up, to not choose certain death, but, to choose to keep navigating the road to this very day. Today I celebrate 13 yrs in recovery from a substance use disorder.
This years anniversary is a different one for sure. All of us are experiencing change no one ever planned for in our lifetimes. On this day we are asked, no, required, to stay put. Stay home unless we need to go somewhere. Crazy isn't it? Thus, this recovery anniversary is somewhat somber. Alas, I still celebrate this day like I would any other year. I know I am not alone in knowing that while this time period is hard, for me and many others in recovery, this pales in comparison to times past.
I have been in jail, on house arrest, on probation, and been required in other ways to restrict my movement. This is nothing. Really, I am pretty free in comparison. I am grateful for my past experiences when I look at it this way. I am grateful for the life I have on this very day; even with all that is happening around me.
Recovery works, lives change. I am living proof. Yesterday I received an email telling me I am done! I am Dr. David A. Douglas! I have went from being a high school drop out holding only a GED to earning of Doctoral degree. How does that happen with the story I have? I will tell you.
It happened because I had access to resources. Resources in the form of treatment, counseling, doctors and dentists. I had access to jobs and housing. Access to education and support for ongoing recovery needs. These things are the only way I would be where I am today. Our society has improved some in this area, but, we have much work to do.
I think about right now, what we are all going through, and other people in recovery. You know what the opposite of addiction is? Connection! People in recovery thrive on connection with others. Support groups across the world are shut down; gatherings are denied everywhere. Exercise programs for people in recovery put off for now with runs and mtn. climbs postponed or cancelled. I know this is hard. But here is what I also know.
We are a resilient population. I am not one to live in my past. I am a forward thinking person. But, when it can be helpful, I look to my past. I think about the current situation and think.....I have been through tough times in the past.....Really tough times. The kind of tough times I wish upon no other human. Thus, these times, while tough, I can get through. I can get through them with my head held high. And, I can help others get through them with me. I can reach out to people through all of the avenues technology gives us. In our house I have jokingly said "we all have to adapt around here".
In recovery I have learned to adapt. I have learned in life that there is only one constant......change. The recovery community knows this well and I am confident all of us will come out of this time period stronger than ever. I am grateful to be in recovery, and, on this day, to celebrate 13 years worth of a life well lived.
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