This is what recovery looks like
Recovery is amazing; Let's just start there. I have had more fun and amazing experiences, and a massive amount of great memories have been made since entering a life in recovery. I remember when I was just contemplating recovery and thinking it might be boring. Thinking "how can life be enjoyable if I can't drink or get high?" This is common theme for many who are making the decision to stop using drugs and alcohol. We think life without use might be boring. It is not.
For me one key area that is over the top amazing is family. The massive improvements in this area give me pause to be grateful on a regular basis. Being a father is my most important role in life. Since starting a life in recovery this has proven to be an amazing decision. My relationship with my son, and now grandsons, is amazing. We are close. Tyler and I have a very strong relationship and we talk everyday. We talk about normal life stuff, the hard life stuff, and the amazing life experiences we each have. The relationship I have with Anthony and Alarik is something I cherish a lot. When I think about all of my family relationships, and how they have changed since I started a life in recovery it proves again and again that a life in recovery has massive positive effects on the entire family system. My role being a husband to Katrina is something that I know allows me to be all in all the time. If I weren't in recovery I know this wouldn't even be an option for me. Katrina and I, both people in recovery, have a strong marriage build on a foundation of trust, openness, and love. Family is amazing and I have no doubt that my life in recovery has helped this in many ways.
The friendships I have in recovery are ones that I had only dreamed of having in active addiction. I always say to people that the statement "your friends who you used with were never really your friends" is a myth. I did have good friends in active addiction. Yet, what I had to do for self-preservation is put some distance between me and them so I could get a strong foothold in recovery. I think of my childhood friend Julio who I have known since I was about 12. He and I used a lot of drugs together. We both have since changed our lives and I still think of him as a friend. I think of my 20 year friendship with Sarah. Her and I met in recovery, we both returned to use, and, we both returned to recovery. She is like my little sister and very much one of my best friends in the entire world. The bond I have with her is like no other. I can't even count how many friends I have in my world that I know I can call in for help, or, just to go and do something fun. This is truly something, in active addiction, that I could never achieve. In active use my ability to commit to being a friend to someone else was minimal at best. Now, in recovery, I get to spend time with a wide variety of people I easily call friends for life.
My work life in recovery is crazy good. Seriously, I have had so many amazing jobs/careers in recovery that just thinking about it is wild. This is an area where I used to spend a lot time just in a dream world. I would only hope I would do something good in this arena. I would have grand ideas, but, would never follow through. Active addiction didn't allow me to truly do the things I wanted to do in my working world. I would mostly just get by in this arena. In recovery, wow! Today, Katrina and I own and operated two successful businesses. I am a college professor teaching students to achieve success in their own lives. I say to people that the work I am doing now is of my choosing. In active addiction I would only work in jobs I could get, not necessarily in careers of my choosing. In each of the areas I work in they are of my choosing. I don't feel like I am working really because I love each of the areas I have chosen to work in.
Physical and mental health were areas I truly believed would never improve. I thought for sure I would simply alway live with dental pain. As a kid we didn't get good access to dental health and it bled right into my adult years. When I started using heavy drugs it got real bad. I would only ever get emergent care and believed I would likely just have to have all my teeth pulled. That's not the case in recovery. In recovery I have been fortunate to have access to consistent dental care. Physical health is something I take care of in recovery. I go to the doctor now before any possible illness gets back. I get regular physicals. Mental health, well, this is massive. Many people in recovery can attest the ever draining cycle that would happen in active addiction. We used in a lot cases to keep the depression at bay. We knew the second we stopped using any underlying mental health conditions would be right there waiting. I remember this painful cycle all to well. Because of recovery, because of access to mental health professionals and physicians I have been able to managed and heal from mental health issues. I have previous diagnosis for major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety, PTSD, and bereavement. It is only because of recovery and a whole bunch of counseling and education that those diagnosis have been resolved. Life isn't always perfect for sure, but I haven't laid in bed for days on end for a long time. I haven't had the level of anxiety that used to keep me locked in fear in a long time. I can function in the world today in a way that doesn't give me cause to not go out in the world.
Having enjoyment in life as a person in recovery is far and above better than life in active addiction. I have laughed far more in recovery than I ever did in active addiction. I have been on amazing vacations in recovery that I would never been able to go on in active addiction. Music is one of my big loves and I have been to countless concerts where I have been able to enjoy them without any worry of my behavior if I had been in active addiction. Because of recovery my life enjoyment has been truly beyond anything I could ever have dreamed of even in my early day of recovery. I get to enjoy time riding my motorcycle that I bought with money from the careers I have chosen for myself. I get to do so many amazing things to enjoy life and for me, it is only because of that decision to enter a life in recovery. Katrina and I are heading out next week for a week long trip to Arizona where we will enjoy time with each other. This reality IS because of both of our lives in recovery.
The reality for me, and I know many others is, Recovery IS amazing. The reality is because of our lives in recovery we get to fully participate in this thing called life. We learn that life is life. Sure, there are hard things that still happen along the way. What we learn is we can get through hard things and chose to stay in recovery. I have walked through highly difficult periods in my life in recovery. The death of my mother, loss of jobs, financial struggles, putting down my dog of 13.5 years, and other life issues are things I have been able to navigate in recovery. At the end of each day I get to lay my head on my pillow and go to sleep. I can wake each morning and start the day anew; in recovery.
Comments
Post a Comment