I GET to be alive
I struggle, I falter, and I fail.....repeatedly. Yet, each time I am able to shift to a mindset with a willingness to try again, to get back up and keep moving forward, and, to keep a grateful mindset; I am succeeding at this thing called life.
Throughout COVID-19 there are several things have kept me in a grateful mindset. One of those is my personal history of re-booting my life twice. Once at 29......lifting myself from the streets, strung out on drugs, with everything I owned shoved in a small hall closet at my sisters. I was able to take myself from there to living a full life. Through help from many, determination to improve myself to get out of the deep hole I was in, I was able to rise up and above the chaos. Again, at age 40, while not as deep in despair as I was at 29, I did it again. At 40 I had to reach back to that time I was 29 and say "I did it before, I can do it again", and, I did.
Today I live a full and amazing life at 52 yrs old. I have been given so many things and so much support for so many, that I realize, on a regular basis how grateful I am to be alive and well in the year 2020.
Now, enter COVID-19.......just my personal story, I had JUST finished my doctoral degree. A four year process, and in March, I was done, done, and done. I became Dr. David A Douglas. Wow! It was an exciting time for sure. The virus was just rearing it's head at that time. I had JUST submitted my application materials for a tenure-track position on campus....all part of the plan. Well, COVID-19 was about to tell me that plan was not going to happen. About two weeks later, the hiring freeze happened and that hope and dream was gone from sight. Now, I remember, mostly because it was just a month ago, although it seems a lot longer, how I initially felt about it........I was angry. The range of emotions came fast. I couldn't believe what the fuck had just happened.....and how fast.
On top of my personal situation there were so many things going on around us all. I remember posting as a kind of joke, but serious "March is now cancelled". Shit was getting cancelled left and right.......one thing after the other in rapid fire speed. It was mind boggling. How in the hell are we supposed to be grateful when all of it was going on? How am I supposed to be grateful now, weeks into "stay home stay safe"????
I will tell you how. In those days where things were getting cancelled left and right. Where my own plans were being smashed right in front of me I was doing the exact things I have done for years since those early days of rebooting my life. I realize, each and every day, I have a lot to be grateful for in life even in the face of the chaos going on around us all.
I have woke up every day throughout COVID-19. Many have not had that opportunity. I have awoke with a roof over my head and in a warm bed. Many don't get that in their daily lives. I have had three meals a day every day during this time period. There are those that don't get that luxury. I am still employed.....and THAT I know is something I am fortunate for during this time period because millions have lost their income.
I have so much to be grateful for each and every day. Those things I am grateful help me to keep hope at the forefront of my mind always. I falter, I get tripped up and experience sadness and frustration, I do the same things all of us do with the range of emotions that we get with all that is going on. What I will not do no matter what......is give up hope. Never give up. Period.
Throughout COVID-19 there are several things have kept me in a grateful mindset. One of those is my personal history of re-booting my life twice. Once at 29......lifting myself from the streets, strung out on drugs, with everything I owned shoved in a small hall closet at my sisters. I was able to take myself from there to living a full life. Through help from many, determination to improve myself to get out of the deep hole I was in, I was able to rise up and above the chaos. Again, at age 40, while not as deep in despair as I was at 29, I did it again. At 40 I had to reach back to that time I was 29 and say "I did it before, I can do it again", and, I did.
Today I live a full and amazing life at 52 yrs old. I have been given so many things and so much support for so many, that I realize, on a regular basis how grateful I am to be alive and well in the year 2020.
Now, enter COVID-19.......just my personal story, I had JUST finished my doctoral degree. A four year process, and in March, I was done, done, and done. I became Dr. David A Douglas. Wow! It was an exciting time for sure. The virus was just rearing it's head at that time. I had JUST submitted my application materials for a tenure-track position on campus....all part of the plan. Well, COVID-19 was about to tell me that plan was not going to happen. About two weeks later, the hiring freeze happened and that hope and dream was gone from sight. Now, I remember, mostly because it was just a month ago, although it seems a lot longer, how I initially felt about it........I was angry. The range of emotions came fast. I couldn't believe what the fuck had just happened.....and how fast.
On top of my personal situation there were so many things going on around us all. I remember posting as a kind of joke, but serious "March is now cancelled". Shit was getting cancelled left and right.......one thing after the other in rapid fire speed. It was mind boggling. How in the hell are we supposed to be grateful when all of it was going on? How am I supposed to be grateful now, weeks into "stay home stay safe"????
I will tell you how. In those days where things were getting cancelled left and right. Where my own plans were being smashed right in front of me I was doing the exact things I have done for years since those early days of rebooting my life. I realize, each and every day, I have a lot to be grateful for in life even in the face of the chaos going on around us all.
I have woke up every day throughout COVID-19. Many have not had that opportunity. I have awoke with a roof over my head and in a warm bed. Many don't get that in their daily lives. I have had three meals a day every day during this time period. There are those that don't get that luxury. I am still employed.....and THAT I know is something I am fortunate for during this time period because millions have lost their income.
I have so much to be grateful for each and every day. Those things I am grateful help me to keep hope at the forefront of my mind always. I falter, I get tripped up and experience sadness and frustration, I do the same things all of us do with the range of emotions that we get with all that is going on. What I will not do no matter what......is give up hope. Never give up. Period.
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