Modeling recovery for others

(Left: last booking photo in 1995 - Right: Life in recovery today)

I am always here to help. I want to do all I can to help others find their unique path to recovery however that looks for them. Right now I have several people I interact with who are doing just that.  One is in treatment now, another has recently been released from prison and is working on re-integrating into the community, someone else is walking their path while running a business and taking care of family responsibilities, and yet another is finding his path through the use of support groups.  

In each of these scenarios I keep my biased views out of the conversations we have along the way. I listen, I ask if they want my advice, I listen more, and I support. I tell each of them the same thing.....I will always be here for them no matter what. I will be the one person in their lives that won't leave them. Sure, I will have healthy boundaries, but I won't just kick them to the curb if they aren't doing things how I believe they should. 

Can I get frustrated when I see anyone I hear wants to find a life in recovery who returns to use and dysfunctional behaviors.......of course. Who wouldn't? It's always difficult to see someone hurting in a way that causes them to harm themselves and others through the use of drugs or alcohol. That's a given.Yet, I choose in every scenario to try to always remember my own path.  My own path was not linear by any means. It was marked with many ups and downs along the way. It was riddled with many returns to use, returns to the same negative behavior patterns, and many times where I said to myself and others....I am going to try again. Honestly, I had to many of these times to count. Yet, here I am in long-term recovery having gone from a jail cell to doing all the amazing things I get to do in my life on a daily basis and I am going to celebrate 16 years in recovery this month on the 25th. 

Just this morning I was talking to a friend about what I believe can be highly effective tool in my arsenal to help others. That tool is simply modeling recovery. Sometimes we just need to model the recovery in ourselves that we want for others. This is why peer support is so powerful.  I remember well my early days in recovery and seeing others out in front who I knew had navigated their own path. It gave me hope that maybe, just maybe, I could do the same.

If you are in recovery I say to model your recovery in a way that others find it attractive and may end up doing the same for themselves. It doesn't always take us pressuring someone. It doesn't always take us find the just right words to say.  Guilting isn't an effective tool at all. Sometimes, the best tool we can use, is to model recovery.