How have I overcome so much?
Each day this week I did a "I remember when" writing and wrote snippets of memories from my childhood. My childhood was the stuff you hope to never hear, or, read about for any child. My siblings and I experience and witnessed things you never want any child to experience or see. As I wrote each day I thought about my personal experiences, and, reflected on my life now.
My life today, if you look at it without any knowledge of my story, is one where you wouldn't ever think I had gone through the things I have as a child. Yet, I have it all in my history as a child. The moves, the "dads of the week", the sexual abuse, the existence of near zero stability for most of my childhood and so many crazy stories that my siblings and I have in our memory banks.
For us, seeing our mom in abusive relationship after abusive relationship was the norm, not the exception. For us, having near zero consistency in a stable home that would include food availability, educational opportunities, consistent healthy adult role models, etc., etc. We had none of that. Our environment was the stuff you read about and don't believe what you are reading.
Yet, here I am. I am in a happy and successful marriage, I have a strong bond with my son and grandchildren. I don't drink or use drugs. I have a successful career. I have lived in the same community for twenty years and have had the same living environment for over a decade. There is always food in our cupboards and we never worry if the lights will be shut off or if we will be evicted.
How, you might ask yourself, is that even possible for a guy who went through all he did as a kid, and even into his adult years? Let me tell you how and be very clear about it.
Access to resources. That's it in a nutshell. I have had access to a plethora of resources over many years to get to where I am standing today with all I have that is good in my world. Resources you ask? What resources are you talking about? Those resources have been in the form of massive amounts of mental health counseling, multiple inpatient and outpatient treatments for a substance use disorder, educational and job opportunities, housing, and more.
There is no way, and I mean this 100%, no way, I would have the success I have today without that access. Through treatment, I got my first start in a life in recovery from a substance use disorder, and, my first start with help for a mental health disorder (depression/anxiety/PTSD/bereavement). Without it, I would not be where I am today.
Through, educational/vocational opportunities I have been able to earn an education and become successful in my career path. Today I am a college professor and my wife and I own two small businesses. I have just started a non-profit in the community I live in. Without it, I would not be where I am today.
We must provide help for those who need it the most. I am just one story of many adults, who, to know fault of their own were given terrible living environments as children. These type of environments set them up for massive issues as adults. I recently read a quote by a friend that said it beautifully: We talk about giving people second chances, when in a lot cases people never even had a first chance.
We know, it is clear as day, when we provide resources to help people with history as children who suffered trauma, abuse, and crazy living environments with resources to heal, as many resources as they need. We must meet them where they are and help to lift them up and out. They can learn new ways of thinking. They can find a life in recovery from substance use and mental health disorders.
Is it easy? No, my life as a child and even many of my adult years pre-access to resources, was not easy. Certainly. navigating those new ways of thinking, learning to trust, learning how to think differently about the world around me was not easy. But, look at me now!
Now, imagine if we can help more of our citizens in this same way. Providing critical resources to those who need, and really, deserve them the most. Imagine if we replicated this again and again. Never giving up, keeping the effort toward truly helping people in all ways possible.
I never wanted anything other than to be happy as a kid
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