How are things going son?

Today, my son, Tyler, celebrates five years in recovery.    He is far and above the most amazing, bright, and shining example of a life changed.    His life today, compared to five years ago, is over the top, amazing.    He is showing the world what happens when a person gets busy living life in recovery.

I remember well asking the question five years ago......."how are things going?"     I remember hearing in his voice that they weren't going well.   I remember well the talks his mother and I would have.   We would try to navigate being parents of a young man in active addiction.  There were all to many nights of sleep lost, wondering, worrying, and really, waiting.     I would get relief when he would call at all.   Even when we would end up in massive battles on the phone or in person.   Why?  Because at minimum, I knew he was alive.     Even when he would try to step into recovery, and return to use, at minimum, I knew he was seeing there was hope.    I remember well that call that came five years ago, on this day.   The day he called from treatment.     That day, until this day, he has grabbed recovery and ran with it.   There is not a day that goes by that I am not in awe of the progress Tyler is making in his world.

He is a father.    Tyler is father to five boys.    All of his boys have a positive male role model in their lives.    I love watching him be a father to all of them.    He defines fatherhood in all ways; Caring, compassionate, and involved.   It matters not whether the son he is parenting is his blood; he takes on the role of dad with them all as if they are his own.   He is able to parent in a way that causes me to pause and look up to him in a way that brings joy to my heart.  Tyler, my son, is being a father to his boys, like I had hoped for when I was a boy.    It gives me joy to see Tyler as a father. 

He is a husband.   Tyler and Ashley will celebrate five years of marriage later this year.   Throughout this time Tyler has navigated being a husband.    Through his dedication, willingness, and love, he and Ashley have been able to show their kids how a strong marriage stays alive.   Tyler is willing to look at himself to ensure he is being the best husband he can.     I have always admired him for being a loving and caring husband to Ashley. 

He is a son.    He has transitioned from being the one who needed a lot care, even as an adult, to now, being in a position to help his mother and I when we need it.  I know his mother would agree that recovery for Tyler has brought our sweet boy back to us.    We always knew, even in his darkest days, that he was in there, screaming to come out.   Well, he is here now.     Tyler is a joy to talk about and I am proud to have him as my son. 

He is a mentor.   I see him with the men in his life.  I see the bonds he is able to create.    He is able to be mentored, and now, he is able to mentor others.  Through his professional work, and in his personal life.  He has a way about him that allows men to be real with him.   This is who he is at his core.  Recovery has allowed that part of him to grow in a massive way.

Today son, you celebrate five years.   It is that, and, so much more.   Yes, discontinuing use of drugs and alcohol was critical, yet, the work and growth you have experienced since that day five years ago is inspiring.  You inspire me to keep moving forward.  You inspire others to keep moving forward.     Never stop being you, never stop moving forward, never stop. 






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