Here's to 55 years of life

I honestly wasn't sure I would make it to 30. The reality that I am sitting here on my 55th birthday with the life I have is really crazy to think about. I have good health, a great career, love of family and friends, and really, a future that is brighter than I ever could have imagined not long ago. I rebooted my life at 29 and again at 40 and to think how far I have come in all ways is crazy. I live a fortunate life. 

It just so happens I had a great conversation with a new found friend in the parking lot of Fred Meyer yesterday. He was with one of our amazing community members Kevin whom I consider a good friend, and the guy with him, who I had never met, engaged with me on a deep conversation about our differing beliefs. That conversation was a good one. Neither of us got upset with each other, we said our points about our differing beliefs, we challenged each others viewpoints, and when done, walked away as new friends. That moment in time speaks to where I am at in life at 55. 

I view life from what I consider a unique lens.  Having been in spots in life I would never wish upon anyone with substance use and mental health disorders that took me to some of the lowest points in my life ever, having lived a childhood with stories of how adults around me and my siblings behaved that would bring tears to your eyes, to, having a adult life where I carried with me the pains of that childhood in pretty unhealthy ways, and now, getting to live a life in recovery and have the success I have, well, I look at the world with different filters. 

I live each day as it comes. Sure, I have goals, I run from a calendar, and I am busy in the different pockets of my life. But, with that, I truly try to take each day as it comes.  None of us knows with any certainty how long we have left on this earth...we just don't. At any moment we can be gone. Being I have been at deaths door, being I have put myself in situations where my life could have been gone in an instant I know this can happen.  I have seen people ripped from the earth in an instant and in many cases way to soon. I live today and do what I can in each day to do good for the world around me.

Like many I talk to one on one and even in group settings, the "this or that" mentality is tiring. Our society is suffering greatly because we have been sold a bill of goods by our leaders that we must be on one side or the other in our beliefs.  That has bled into many areas of our lives and it just needs to stop. In nearly all of the conversation I have with people who don't believe the same as I may in a certain area, we, when we have civil and respectful conversations with each other we leave with an understanding that there IS a middle ground on nearly all issues. I have now lived more than long enough to know when there was a time when this was the norm not the exception. I long for this time to return. I work on a regular basis in the community to do my part to make this happen.  I long for others to do the same.

I, now at 55, am grateful for the love of my family and friends. My amazing wife Katrina who has stood squarely by my side is the one for me forever. My son, who has created a life for himself that is all him makes me proud on a regular basis.  My grandsons Anthony and Alarik are unique in their own individual ways and I love them both so much. I look forward to times when I get to see my siblings and we can talk  about the crazy and about the good times.  Each of us are survivors in many ways from a time when we each suffered immensely at the hands of the adults around us. With that, there were pockets of positive memories we each share and love to remember. 

I get to be involved in life today in ways I could only have imagined in years past. I used to say I was about 10-15 years behind in my life trajectory due to having been in dysfunction and chaos in life. I don't think that way anymore. I am right where I am supposed to be in life. At 55, with a great life that I have created with the help of so many along the way. 

Here's to 55!   I am alive and well!!