Don't give up....your child's life depends on it

Being a father has always been a role that I have taken pretty serious. Growing up without my biological father, and having a step father who I grew close to, die at a young age, has had a pretty dramatic effect on me in many ways. Then to have a man act as if he gave a shit about me, but, had his own sick motives....that made the role of a father become even more important to me. Being a father is my most important role in life. There really is no replacement for it.

I found my biological father, Danny Douglas, when I was 29 years old.....and learned that he had lived less than 50 miles away for nearly my whole life. He and I had a mostly friendship based relationship from that time until the time he passed several years ago. I am glad I found him and we were able to learn about each others paths in life. He was good to me in the years after I found him, yet, not being in my life for the first 29, still has an effect on me to this day. Being a father is my most important role in life. There is really no replacement for it.

Johnny Revell came into my life when he and my mother married. I was about 7 or 8 and Johnny, to me, was larger than life in many ways. He took me under his wing and guided me in my young life from that time until his passing when I was just 12. His death was my tipping point to that marker in my life. It was thereafter that I went head first into drinking and drugs and all that follows. Being a father is my most important role in life. There really is no replacement for it.

I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse at the hands of a man who, as weird and twisted as this sounds, was like a father to me. He entered my life at a time when I was most vulnerable. A time when he was able to groom me with his words and behavior that made me believe it was all ok.....that it was our little secret and no one had to know. Lyndsey Gilmore was someone who, I own this now, was like a father to me in that I looked up to him and he helped guide me in ways a father would. The really sick thing is it came with the disgust of his abuse of his authority as a male role model. I was able to break free from his chains and am grateful for the healing I have had since that time. Being a father is my most important role in life. There really is no replacement for it.

I get angry when I hear a man isn't in his son or daughters life because it is to hard or difficult for him. I mean that....I get angry. Do I have compassion for all scenarios and understanding that it can be tough to maintain a relationship, sure, but I still get angry. I get angry because of my own life story and growing up without a father. I know the pain that has always been in my heart due to my own fathers decision to abandon me because it was to hard. I get angry because I was close to a great man who stepped in to take on the role of being my father and was ripped away. I get angry because there are men out there who abuse this role in sick and disgusting ways. Being a father is my most important role in life. There really is no replacement for it.

When raising Tyler, my flesh and blood who I brought into this world, I had times I wanted to walk away because it was hard. Yet, Cyndi and I had made a commitment when we split, when Tyler was just a baby, that we would both parent him no matter what. We stayed true to that for his whole life, to this very day......and it was hard at times, really hard. Being a father is my most important role in life. There really is no replacement for it.

My own son, Tyler, is a father today. I watch him with his boys and am proud. I am proud of who he is as a father. He IS the definition of a dad in all ways. With his biological sons, and, his sons through marriage. He and I talk regularly about dad stuff and it is a true honor to have him seek my viewpoints and share his thoughts on raising his boys. Being a father is my most important role in life. There really is no replacement for it.